Blood Doesn't Make You A Father

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

These ladies have shared how important the men in their life are to them, and how the men also stepped up and played the roll as a father to their kids. I had each lady write a letter to the special man in their life, to tell them what they mean to them.

(Both Ladies name is Kim and they are married to cousins)

I can't express the fact that our relationship really started as a fairytale. So if you know us, then you know I refer to JaVorise as my mate. I have actually known my mate for over 20 years! There is nothing major, no back and forth, just a good old fashioned encounter, that brought us into each others lives on this level. A "not so" chance encounter brought him into an Alcoholic Beverage Control store where I was working, to hold THE LONGEST conversation about really nothing, that I had ever had in my life. I say that because he's not a drinker, and didn't buy anything that day. He later told me he came into the store just to speak to me. I wasn't really sure if I was that interested in him at this time anyways. I felt like he was kind of to good to be true.  I mean, I was a single parent raising two preteens that took up plenty of my time, and I didn't have any to waste on a man. I had really just given up on finding love. Not because I didn't believe in it, but because I was just not sure if I would ever find it. Or vise versa. So I immediately started receiving emails from JaVorise that just brightened up my days. On the hardest of my days, I still look back at them now. We eventually went on a date and proceeded to do that once a week for the next three weeks. On July 31, 2011, we officially decided that this situation we had going on, was the best thing either one of us had ever been a part of. We continued to pay bills in two different residences for four months because we wanted to make sure our family was a fit. Once we moved in together we could tell that this relationship was what what the Lord had for the both of us. My two older children got to experience love that they never had, from a source that they weren't sure existed. On November 15, 2012, we welcomed a bouncing baby boy into a home full of family and love.  He was the completion to our family, his father's first born, my miracle baby, and his sibling's dream. As we've progressed in life our family bond has only gotten better. We've had plenty of ups and downs, that we now tackle as a unit.  I couldn't be more sure of the fact that I stand by every decision I've ever made for a man who was worth every decision I made. As we prepare to embark on a couple more milestones in the upcoming years, I hope and pray for nothing more than what I have right now. Plenty of laughs, an abundance of love, and a future with this man of mine. 

Dear JaVorise,

    First, I would just like to tell you how thankful I am to have such a wonderful man like you. Second, I want you to know how much of a great role model you are to our children. You show them how to get out in the world, and work for anything they want. You are always there to support them in anything they do and guide them in the right direction. I know it's not easy keeping two young adults on the right path, but with the foundation you have helped me lay, they are certainly on the road to success. As for our beautiful baby boy, you are teaching him exactly what a family should consist of. I am not exactly sure what the future holds for our family, but I am sure I can't wait to find out. I pray every day that the lord continues to bless our family to grow stronger and continue to succeed. And without a doubt, with a Patriarch like you, sky is the limit. I want to thank you for putting up with me. I love you baby!


TT and I met about 3 years ago. We’ve always seen each other around town and mingled with some of the same people. At that time he was not the guy that I would even give the time of day to. You know the ones that you look at and just think to yourself like “He’s getting on my nerves” or you’ll walk the other way to avoid seeing him. I’ve been through some not so good relationships and I was at a point in my life where I was like I’m just going to focus on myself, my career and my daughters. Trying to get to know another guy was just not an option for me. I was told I came across being mean and stuck up. But, when you’ve had my share of failed relationships – your guard just always seems to be up no matter what.
When TT and I were formally introduced by one of my best friends; In my mind I was like here’s this guy that I always run into. He’s always smiling and laughing – Nothing is that funny all the time. I never intended to give him my number, but his stars were aligned that night and he got it. Let him tell it I didn’t even want to give him a real chance. The more we began to talk with each other the more I realized that he’s not a bad guy. We had a lot of common interests. When we first started dating I didn’t even let anyone know who he was. I did my best not to talk about him much because I didn’t want to get my hopes high for another guy then something would happen and I would have to dismiss him.
As time went on and our relationship began to grow – he knew about my daughters but had still never met them. I wouldn’t even allow him to know where we stayed. I would explain to him being a single parent raising 3 daughters at that time my oldest Harmonee was 8 and the twins MaKaylah and MaKenzie were 4 – I need to make sure that you are someone that I can bring around and that’s up to the challenge of dealing with 4 different personalities. He stuck through it. When I first introduced him to my girls they twins instantly became attached to him. My oldest was just kind of stand offish. She respected him but she acted as if she really didn’t care for him. This broke my heart! Here I have this great guy that I really like and if my daughter didn’t like him that would be a deal breaker. My oldest daughter’s father is deceased. He was killed when she was only 3 years old. I also had another daughter before the twins that I lost to SIDS during that same time. So my oldest is very protective of me and just hard to break through. After I shared that information with TT was determined not to give up. He told me he felt he was now obligated to be there for all of them, but mostly for her as she’s gone through a lot. He finally broke through her tough shell by just doing things Dads do. She finally came around, and the bond that they share is simply amazing.
The bond he has with them all individually is unique and special in its own way. He doesn’t do for one and not the others, he’s involved with the extracurricular activities, he helps with homework, he’ll even do hair! For a guy that I didn’t even want to give a chance to – came into our lives and has entered into a spot in all of our hearts. I knew then he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with. The girls wouldn’t have it any other way.

Dear Babe,

I don’t think I ever tell you enough how much I appreciate you. There have been so many times when I’m worried about something and when I bring it to you – you have it already figured out. Words cannot describe how deep my love and affection for you runs. You are my best friend. I’ve never known a love like this before but it’s safe to say I’m so glad I found it with you. I couldn’t ask for a better man to come in and steal our hearts away. I want to just simply say Thank You. Thank you for being everything to us and for us. There’s nothing in this world I know you wouldn’t do for us. I want you to know I will always have your back. We’ll ride until the wheels fall off. I couldn’t imagine picking a better life partner than you. I love you TTD!

The Mrs.

In February 2013, I met the most amazing man I had ever met. I didn't know, that two weeks later we would be hanging out and getting to know each other more.  On Feb 26, 2013, we made it official. Emanuel is such an amazing, sweet, caring, loving, understanding and respectable man. He really completes me. He has had my back, since day one, and he never left my side.  He has also been an amazing father figure in my kids lives. My kids love him so much. He has stood in and have not missed a beat of helping my kids. He has kids and grandkids of his own, but he don't treat my sons any differently.  June, 2013, I had fell into depression due to my youngest son who was really ill. He had doctors appointments, every week in Birmingham, AL. We are still having to take him three to four times a month. Emanuel works a full time job for the post office, but yet he still continues to stand by our side at every appointment. He is there for school and games. This upcoming February,  we will be together four amazing years.  I prayed many years that I would find a good Godly man, and thank God I found my best friend.

To my sweet love,

 I wanted to let you know that I love you so much and words can't express it. You mean the world to me, and I'm so blessed and thankful to have you a part of our lives. You been there thru the good, bad, happy and sad times. You have always been by my side and I thank you for that.  I thank you for all the laughs, jokes, hugs, and kisses. I am so grateful for you being my shoulder to cry, and for washing my tears away. I am indeed grateful for you being the amazing father you are to the kids.  I'm proud to call you my best friend and my love bug. There is not a day that goes by that I don't appreciate you for all you have done and continue to do. You have given me the family I have always wanted. I love you Emanuel and thank you for everything!!

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