We Stay Strong

Saturday, October 8, 2016

I always as a child pictured myself having my family stable, before I could even think about taking care of my parents. I also pictured my parents growing old before any type of illness would cause them to leave me at an early age. I know as my faith got stronger in GOD, He prepared me for what was about to happen to me.  I wouldn’t ever in a million years imagine my mother would have to depend on me as I depend on her as a child. Now, the roles between mother and daughter has changed. I use to have to depend on her for everything, but now she depends on me for everything. As I stated before if it wasn't for GOD I wouldn't be the strong daughter and mother to my own children. I don't know where this road is leading me, but I do know there is one person I need there beside me that is GOD! He is the only one that can help me through this situation.

"Where should I start? Well, I guess I will start off by saying it is never easy to watch a loved one go through such diseases as Alzheimer’s and Dementia, especially a parent. You want to help them so bad, but it is nothing you can do other than be there to love them and that is what I and my siblings do.  The day we took her in for her first evaluation was very shocking to me.  I had no idea that her condition was as bad as it was.  She looked fine to me until the questions she answered were way off target. The signs have always been there, but by being uneducated about the way it makes an impact on your everyday life you’ll look over them as nothing is wrong.    I’ve also had to see my grandmother, my mother’s mom, suffer from Alzheimer’s.   I didn’t know, the disease was hereditary.  I often question myself am I showing early signs because I know there have been times I will totally forget what I was about to say or do. "
"Since my grandmother had it and now my mother has it, I wonder will I be the next one in my family to have it.   It is hard to look at my mom in the condition she is in. I can’t hear her voice or communicate with her just takes a toll on me. I use to call her to check up on her and go see her as much as possible.  I did not want to wait until something like this happens for me to try and be there for her.  I wanted her to know I love her before something like this happened. I remember in my younger years how she use to ask me things and I probably would say, “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember” and she will always say back to me “you too young for that son.” The little conversations changed after a while, drastically. I started telling her she was too young to be forgetting things not knowing she was really showing early signs of Alzheimer’s.  I really do miss that pretty smile and hearing her voice on Sunday mornings, getting the church in praise mode. She still lights the room up when she does her little smirk.  I have been praying for a cure, since the day we found out she had Alzheimer’s.  I think they are getting very close to finding one."

Margie Lee Davis, when I hear this name I can honestly say that I am so proud and blessed to be one of her children.  This women has did more for me and showed me and my siblings so many things throughout life that we couldn't even imagine or even begin to grasp on without that MOTHER'S LOVE!! I really don't think I have the right words or emotions to even go about how my feelings have evolved around the fact of the matter yet. Throughout life we've had ups and downs. She was always there no matter what. Who would ever thought it would come to a case as such. It's painful and sometimes very unclear at times. She always told us to "Trust In God Baby" He knows what He’s doing. We're talking about having someone with a gifted voice that touched lives when she use to sing. I couldn't ask for a more family oriented family if I wanted to. I am amongst some of the best siblings God ever created together. The good definitely outweigh the bad. My parents raised us wise and very strong-minded so in times like these "We Stay Strong".

August 26,1991, was the day I was born. On this day my mom and I almost lost our lives because her placenta abrupted. I was a premature baby. As I became older our bond was a very close one because I was considered her miracle baby. My mom was my best friend, diary and much more. Whenever I was sad, down, or scared during bad weather she would sing to me. My mom was one of the best vocalist in the area. In 2009, after I graduated from high school I noticed a change in my mom. She kept repeating herself more frequently, and she would get very angry. She would start yelling, crying, and her hygiene was becoming something she didn't care too much about any more. I was very confused by these actions because it happened all of a sudden. I didn't say anything to any of my siblings because I didn't think she would be suffering from Alzheimer's.  I just thought it was a just a growing phase. I had been with my mom since I was a kid to 18, and we were like two peas in a pod. I was still sleeping in the bed with her (lol).I enjoyed her company. Wherever she went I went. My biggest regret of this situation is when I met an ex -boyfriend and moved away with him. I rarely visited my mom then. When I came back around it was too late. She was fading away so fast. On June 9,2011, my siblings and I found out our mom suffered from Alzheimer's/Frontal Temporal Lobe Dementia. We were devastated, but we have stuck together for mom. I chose to fight my way through. I tried to hold back my emotions because I knew then my life line was no longer going be able to be my crutch.  I knew it was time to grow up and stand on my own two feet.  I repeat nobody will ever understand me like my mom. My siblings and I are close, but it's nothing like a mother's love. My dad and I haven't always had the best relationship, but as I've grown older, I've realized why and now I understand. I would give anything in this world to have my mom back in good health again. It hurts, me every day, but I know God makes no mistakes so I will just continue to pray.

1 comment :

  1. Praying for a cure.... Keep pushing and God will make a way!


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