Will Brave The Storm Again For My Rainbow

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Growing up I dreamed of becoming a mother like most little girls. Due to some medical issues, I was told I would never be able to have kids and if I ever did get pregnant it wouldn't be with out a cost. When I was 19, I met my now husband. He was 17 and honestly I don't think we expected our life to become what it has. 1 year and 11 months  ago I received a Facebook message from an old friend. We were not on good terms and hadn't been for awhile. She said “hey I want to call you and talk to you about something important or on here is fine” I replied with my number and waited on her to call me. I didn't know that what she wanted to ask would change our lives forever. I remember the day like it was yesterday she was five months pregnant and wanted us to adopt the baby. At first I was so confused and didn't know what to think I knew I needed to talk it over with my husband I was so afraid he would say no. He didn't want kids yet but I did and the thought of never being able to be a mother devastated me. I pleaded with him I remember asking him “ what if this is our only chance” I spent many nights angry with God because I didn't understand why I couldn't have kids. I didn't understand why mothers that didn't even want their kids got the chance but me someone who begged God to bless our family with a child couldn't even get pregnant. Little did I know that God was setting up our blessing. Ryder Layton was born May 29, 2015 at 3:59pm weighing 6lbs, 12.8 oz and 19 inches long. That day we realized that we were going to finally be parents and that there was no going back. The feeling of happiness and wholeness is a feeling I will never forget when I laid eyes on him for the first time I knew that I would never love anything or anyone the way I loved him, that I would do everything in my power to be the best mother I could be and to protect him at all costs. Today Ryder is 1 year and 8 months old and I couldn't ask for a better child. He's at the age that he's into absolutely  everything, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've learned that sometimes the things you want the most just aren't ready yet. That sometimes the things you want are still in the process of being made for you. I was made to be his mother just as he was made to be my son. I want anyone who is struggling with infertility to know that your blessing is coming it's being created just for you. I know the wait seems long and hard but please trust me when I tell you that the wait is well worth it. Don’t be discouraged or lose hope because at the end of every  storm there's a rainbow. Ryder is my rainbow and I would brave the storm all over again for him!

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