Felt Like My Whole World Had Crumbled, Had to Ask God To Heal My Broken Heart

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Photography:Felecia Causey And Provided By ShunDerrica Williams
Hi, I’m ShunDerrica Williams, and I’m here to tell my story. November 2017, I gave birth to my first child that resHi, I’m ShunDerrica Williams, and I’m here to tell my story. November 2017, I gave birth to my first child that resulted in a stillborn. She was 38 weeks, and 6 days. I went into labor with her, not thinking that once I got to the hospital still in full blown labor that my daughter has passed away. The nurses could not detect a heartbeat, and at that moment a part of me left with her. Her name is Saariya Nevaeh Williams, and she has been deceased for 2 years.


I was battling with severe depression that no doctors, family members, medications could help at the time. I thought it was my fault because I sensed something was wrong, but I honestly got tired of the doctors sending me home. I was in and out of the hospital. I really just had to pray and ask God to heal my broken heart. The friends I had, I lashed out at them. I pushed everyone away, I felt like my whole world was crumbling down. Also, I tried to speak with a counselor, nothing honestly helped. Each day what I would do to ease the pain is look at pictures of her, and visit her grave. I stopped saying that it was my fault, because it was all God’s plan to make me a stronger person. A friend that this also happened to suggested that I attended a meeting for mothers who have gone through what I did. After going to those meetings, I felt relieved. Listening to other people’s stories, and what they went through really gave me strength to let my sweet daughter rest in paradise. The cause of her passing was Nuchal Cord Death. As I got better with time, a year later, I got pregnant with my second daughter. For 6 months I was in the hospital because I could not eat, drink, or sleep. Constantly in pain, and severe nauseous took over my body. I was on the urge to get a feeding tube because I was getting super small. Nights and days passed as it was getting closer to the end where I would cry myself to sleep, worried that my next child could get wrapped with her umbilical cord the same. Sometimes I didn’t even sleep, I was terrified. When I turned 7 months which was 29 weeks and 6 days, I went into premature labor with my rainbow baby whom I named, A’Miracle Diorr. I had her two months early, and she had to stay in the NICU for 2 months the doctors said, weighing 4 pounds. My daughter was a fighter, she really stayed for 3 in a half weeks.

She is now 6 months! Pregnancy is very beautiful, yet a scary thing to go through.

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